Real Cancer Real Lives #4 is up! Real Cancer, Real Lives is a Carnival for people living with cancer. The goal is to show a real slice of what it’s like to live with cancer, good and bad. The media likes to paint a perfect picture of people who are fighting cancer but cancer isn’t always pretty. The Running Shoe is hosting this week so take a look at real people living and fighting with cancer. There is even one of my stories posted in this issue!

Who doesn’t just *love* free shit?!?! Especially when it’s something worth having. :1: Show your support and help make the connection between cervical cancer and HPV by ordering a FREE Make The Connection bracelet kit! With every order of the FREE Make the Connection bracelet kit you will get two kits, so you can invite someone to join you in showing support against cervical cancer.

So, GO GET ONE! Every woman should know about HPV, especially since it’s the leading cause of Cervical Cancer. Be smart and read up on it. Be a nerd! :26:

Real Cancer Real Lives #3 is up! Real Cancer, Real Lives is a Carnival for people living with cancer. The goal is to show a real slice of what it’s like to live with cancer, good and bad. The media likes to paint a perfect picture of people who are fighting cancer but cancer isn’t always pretty. Procrasti-Nate.com is hosting this week so take a look at real people living and fighting with cancer. There is even one of my stories posted in this issue! :4:

Cary invited Chrispian and myself to take part in Real Cancer, Real Lives, which is a Carnival for people living with cancer. The goal is to show a real slice of what it’s like to live with cancer, good and bad. The media likes to paint a perfect picture of people who are fighting cancer but cancer isn’t always pretty. Jenny’s Belly is hosting this week. So take a look at real people living and fighting with cancer.

It’s 4AM and I can’t sleep. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow, in 4 hours actually, with my Cancer Specialist. I get so stressed out and worried about my appointments that I can NEVER sleep the night before. :42: I just sit here thinking about everything I have been through this past year. All the tests, needle pokes, radiation, chemotherapy, surgery, pain and loss. For some reason I can’t stop thinking about one specific thing that I have lost. Due to my treatments I am no longer able to have children.

My husband and I have always said that we don’t want any, but what if we would have changed our minds down the road? What if my husband changed his mind? After all, we are both young. I’m only 25, dammit! Now, because of this damn cancer I am going through menopause and having to take hormone pills every day. It’s always just one thing after another. I mean, menopause at 25 already makes me feel like I don’t fit in with people my age. I mean, my friends can’t really relate to hot flashes, MASSIVE mood swings, etc., let alone understand what I am going through.

I know it’s just me being silly but now I feel like less of a woman. The ONE special thing that I could do, make a life and give birth to it, is gone. If I chose to, I could make a person that was 1/2 the person that I love and 1/2 me. What can I do now? What can I do that is special? I know I didn’t want kids but if I had, I COULD. Now, no matter what, I CAN’T. So, What is my special thing now? :106: The one thing that only I can do? Hopefully I will find one soon.

Whew! I feel better now that I got that off my chest. Blogging is my form of therapy, plus, it’s a whole lot cheaper! :4: