OK. I know it’s been a looooooooooong time since I posted and I have no excuse for it. What can I say?!?! I’m a lazy ass and it’s my site so I can post when I want to! :10:

Anyways, I finally got around to scanning the pictures from my last Cancer Adventure. I think that’s what i’ll start calling all my medical crap from now on, an adventure. It’s snappy! I have posted them on My Flickr Page which you can also get to at the top of my site. In case you are one of the lasy people, like me, you can <%popup(20060713-poop.jpg|705|499|see my Poop here)%> and you can check out <%popup(20060713-bowling ball.jpg|300|276|my 10lb Bowling Ball)%>.

In case you have no idea WTF i’m talking about just let me explain it for you. I was diagnosed with stage 2b Cervical Cancer and had to under go many surgeries, chemotherapy, external radiation and internal radiation. It’s been almost a year since I was told I AM IN REMISSION! YAY! If you want to know more then read My Cancer Story you lazy arse. Anyways, earlier this year I started having lower abdominal pain and I mean the kind that doubles you over and you start praying to God that if He’ll only stop it you will never do _____ again. I went to my doctor and found out that due to the internal radiation treatments my cervix completely closed up and that caused my uterus to become filled with liquid. Yum! So, I went in for yet another Cancer Adventure where they made a NEW hole in my cervix, drained out all the fluid in my uterus, and cleaned me out. I bet that fluid was a smell to be remembered. :31: I went in weighing 131 and I came out weighing 119. Ain’t that something?!?! So this explains my “Bowling Ball” picture.

Next, I was given some pain pills to help after my little day surgery thing and a week later I still wasn’t feeling good and I was also throwing up when I ate. I went for an x-ray and they found that due to all of the pain medication I was so damn constipated that I was literally FULL OF SHIT. No joke. I was so full of shit that it was pressing on my stomach and that’s why I would throw up when I ate. I think if I would have waited much longer I would have started throwing up actual shit. Doesn’t THAT sound like fun?!?! :69: This explains my “Poop” picture.

Any questions???

I called my doctor, talked to a WONDERFUL nurse that offered to call the lab and check on the status of my tests and then call me back. Within 20 minuites she called me back to tell me GREAT news, that there are NO signs of cancer!

PARTY TIME!

STILL NO TEST RESULTS. I AM NOW OFFICIALLY MIFFED. :14:

Jessica has now got me all riled up and i’m gonna have to go down there and hurt somebody! lolol This Thursday it will have been 4 weeks since they sent off my little “Matchbox Cover”. :3: How the HELL is that possible??

I’m callin those biznitches tomorrow and if this “lab” still hasn’t got the results ready then i’ll get it’s address and show them what I think of them! They will get there every morning and find a flaming bag of cat poop in front of their office EVERY DAY! :4: Believe me when I tell you that they do NOT want a flaming bag of **Oni poop in front of their door every day.

**Oni is my persian that won’t poop or tinkle in the litterbox. Instead she poops/tinkles on my carpet and it is ALWAYS a green/yellow/orange color and sometimes bloody. Now…imagine THAT in a bag, on someones doorstep, on FIRE. :19:

Real Cancer, Real Lives is a Carnival for people living with cancer. The goal is to show a real slice of what it’s like to live with cancer, good and bad. The media likes to paint a perfect picture of people who are fighting cancer but cancer isn’t always pretty. Meaty, Beaty, Big and Bouncy. is hosting this week so take a look at real people living and fighting with cancer.

OK. So, on the 10th of November I went to my doctor and he found something “abnormal” during my check-up and he took a sample to send off to the lab. I STILL haven’t gotten the results back yet! MY GOD! Where the hell is this lab??? Somewhere over the rainbow??? How is it possible for this to take 3 WEEKS to get this shit back??? It’s just a small scraping for Christ’s sake! :102: I called them yesterday and all I got was an ‘We’ll call you as soon as the results come in’ excuse that I KNOW is a lie. I’ll have to call back and then they will act like they thought someone else called and told me already. Now ain’t that some shit??? In the meantime I get to sit here with an ulcer, a constant migraine, and diarrhea from worrying. They better call me soon or else i’m showing up at their office and i’m NOT leaving until they go get my damn results! :45: Am I over reacting??? :10:

So, how is everyone else doing??? Have a good Thanksgiving???