I know I haven’t posted an update in a while but I have a good excuse! My cat ate my blog entry! =] Anyways – I went to the hospital on 5/23 to have my smitt sleeve implant sewn into place and got to experience a few things for the first time. For example…

#1 – An Enema
Actually, it was 3 enemas. The nurse had to keep giving them to me until what came out was clear. The first one was a small bottle but the next two were huge tubs filled with water. Almost a gallon!!! My ass is STILL trying to recover from all that attention. I felt so used and dirty. Like a bad little girl. >:)

#2 – Being given a douche by a complete stranger.
This was probably the most akward moment because we were facing each other the whole time. At least with the enema my back was to her. So, while she administered the tootie-bath we chit chatted about my cancer, her kids, and an assortment of other topics. It would have been a very nice and enjoyable conversation if it weren’t for her giving me the coochie-flush.

#3 – Falling asleep while eating.
Due to all of the medications I was given by the surgeon, recovery nurses, and my radiation doctor I was messed up all night. I am told that I ate 31/2 pieces of pizza but I have no memory of this. The 1/2 was because I fell asleep in the middle of chewing. I woke up with a mouth full of some strange substance that was a little chewy and slimy. I had to pee so Chris helped me to the bathroom and I spit out whatever it was that was in my mouth. I thought that I must have vomited in my sleep and it just didn’t leave my mouth. I told Chris about it later and that’s when I found out about the pizza. I sort of remember something about pizza but I thought it was a dream. I guess not. =]

#4 – A Seizure
Yes, I said seizure! After I washed the pizza out of my mouth and used the bathroom I called out to Chris to come help me walk back to the couch. This was at 10:00pm and I still needed help walking. I told you I was DRUGGED up! =] Well, I remember him helping me walk about 2ft. from the bathroom door and then all of a sudden I was on the couch with Chris slapping my face. Can you imagine just how confused I was? Apparently I collapsed, my eyes rolled back in my head and I started convulsing. Chris picked me up and put me on the couch then called 911. The ambulance people were soooo nice and said that it was probably caused by all the different drugs I had in me. I told them that if it happened again then I would go to the hospital but not until then. I had already been to the hospital that day and I didn’t want to go again damnit! Well, it didn’t happen again. =]

#5 – Having a catheter inserted while I am AWAKE.
There is no way to describe what it feels like to get a catheterput in while you are awake and not on ANY drugs. It just feels wrong. Not real painful, just … WRONG. It also doesn’t help that some stranger has their face about 2 inches from your cooter while they part “the waters”. It’s just not comfortable! Then they tell you to “take a deep breath”. Whenever you are told that you know that you aren’t going to like what is about to happen. It feels just as weird when they take the catheter out. I have never felts anything like that before and when this is all over I hope I never have to get one again. *shiver* It’s just icky.

That’s about it. What really sucks is that before I leave home for each treatment I have to give myself an enama and a betadine douche. When they are getting me ready for a treatment they give me a foley catheter and stick some “rectal marker” up my butt. FUN! At least I only have 2 more treatments (Friday and Monday). Then I should get 1-2 weeks off to recover and then i’ll go in for some tests. I think I just have to have a CT Scan and a PET Scan. I hope they come back clean and cancer free. Please God, let me be cancer free! I don’t think I can take much more of this without going insane. I’m already considered weird so maybe insane isn’t too bad. =] Keep your fingers crossed for me! =]

How are you doing? Anything new? Heard any good gossip that you can share? Seen any good movies? =]