Well, I have about 9 hoursuntil I get my first enema. I’m not quite sure how to prepare myself for the anal intrusion. Plus, who exactly will do it? Should I make eye contact with whomever does the dirty deed or just avoid their eyes? Should I try to make small talk while this person fills my bowels? I’m not sure what the proper etiquette is for a butt douche.

The other thing that is bothering me is the fact that I am going to be knocked out while who knows how many doctors and nurses not only STARE at my pleasure palace but some of them will have their hands all up in there. Pay them? HAH! I’ll send THEM a bill for the coochie time. Would that be rude since they are only doing this to try to save my life? To hell with them! I want my coochie money!!!

Tonight is really going to suck because they have me on a clear liquid diet until midnight when I can’t eat or drink anything. They should be shoving food down my throat instead of starving me. I mean, I have fallen down to a boney 105 pounds. When all of this first started I was at 126 and now I am almost wasted away. It’s all their fault! I should send THEM a bill asking for $10.00 for every pound lost until the conclusion of all tests and treatments. Maybe then they won’t take their sweet time to come see me in the room from now on. I HATE to be put into one of those ugly doctor rooms only to wait 30 MORE minuites for him to come in. They could at least give you something to do while you wait besides a bunch of OLD magazines that nobody gives a shit to read. Why not put a TV in there? Video games? A computer WITH the internet? Instead I have to occupy myself by looking through the supplies, stealing some rubber gloves, playing with that pointy little thing you hit your knee with, and of course playing with a few tounge depressors. I just can’t help myself! It’s a sickness!

Last but not the least of my worries is the damn IV. I can not express to you just how much I hate needles. Rather, I am scared shitless of them. I won’t be able to sleep tonight because of all the damn IV thoughts. If I do sleep i’ll have nightmares about needles comming at me or something. It always happens! Tomorrow I will cry my sissy little eyes out and there isn’t anything I can do to change that. Aren’t they going to be “poking” me enough during the proceedure? Why poke my poor little arms? They are so small that they have to use a childs blood pressure cuff on me. The adult one is way too big and falls right off. Why can’t they give me Mr. Nose from the dentist? Let me huff on that shit for a while until I couldn’t give two shits about an IV or a damn liquid anal probe.

I can’t wait until I am done tomorrow. I am going to eat my little heart out. I’m STARVING!!!!! Oh, how I would love a big ol’ cheeseburger and some fries. Shit, even an apple!!! Well, wish me luck! =]