All Alone
no one near.
the air conditioner
is all I hear.
Buzzing Bees
and chirping birds.
What I want the most
is to hear only words.
Death surrounds
envelops me
why couldn’t this cancer
skip right past me?
Was I bad?
did I do something wrong?
Perhaps it was fate
or just chance all along.
Still I wonder
as I cry
Will this be the cause?
The way that I die?
As I look forward
to see how this will end
I will always remember
how my life truly began.
You never can truly appreciate your own life until you are faced with the possiblity of its end. I see everything clearly now. I see beautiful life and miracles all around me. It changes your perspective about everything. You will even look at each other in a different way. We are fighters. Tough to the bone and I am proud to fight along with them. To one day be able to say that I am a cancer survivor! 
2 
Nae Says:
Aeryn, I am so happy to see you are writing. Let it all out. Soon you will have nothing but wonderful tales to share. Smile friend.
Nae
April 28th, 2005 at 4:03 pm
3 Real Cancer, Real Lives #4 Says:
[... Aeryn expresses herself using a beautiful poem “Still I wonder”. This poem tells the fear and questions that only cancer patients might have felt. [...]
November 1st, 2005 at 11:03 am
About Aeryn
Aeryn – this poem needs more exposure. Finding an avenue of expression is more profound if it’s shared. Of course it’s up to you but I wanted you to know its worth.
When I had my first run in with cancer at 27 my parents took me and my son to a hotsprings resort for a week. It was Easter weekend and on the way there, we stopped at the monastery in Mission on Good Friday. The place was deserted and one of the monks gave us a tour of the place. Aeryn, you know I’m not very religious but the place filled me with a sense of peace and knowledge that I was going to be okay.
A few years later, when the abbey was seeking donations for a new bell tower, I sent them $25 and a letter explaining why. I still have the handwritten thankyou card they sent me. A reminder that everything is rarely as it seems.
I am a survivor – I am sending vibes of strength and keeping watch on you by way of your blog,
April 17th, 2005 at 11:15 am