I am so sicks of tests. I’ve been poked, examined, flipped over and injected and I have had my fill. Today I had a PET Scan and I hope I never have to do that again. It was alot like an MRI only worse. Plus, I was already having a pretty bad day. My pain has gotten real bad but I’m not sure if it’s from sleeping on this crappy couch or if the pain pills just aren’t working as good anymore. I’m going to try to sleep in the bed tonight and see if that helps any. If not then i’ll know that it’s the pills and i’ll call the doctor and demand something stronger. He told me to call if I need something stronger and that he’d be more than happy to get me something stronger. God, I love that man. He has been the only doctor who understands this pain. All the others would give me pills, but only 25. He gave me 50 and now 100. He says that my pain is the #1 thing he wants to take care of. He says that he doesn’t want me to bein pin for even one minuite and I agree with him. =]

Tomorrow morning, at 8:30am, I am going to the hospital to have the porta cath put in my chest. It’s basically a little part of an IV that they are surgically putting under my skin so that I won’t have to get poked over and over every day. They can just use this thing. =] This is SOOOO going to gross me out. I’m going to have this lump by my collar bone that has a flap on it. That will take some getting used to! Just the thought that I am going to have a foreign object in me that will stick out is icky. I’ll be able to feel it and see it too! I hope it’s not huge. *cringe* The whole thing just makes my stomach turn. Hopefully i’ll get used to it pretty quick. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait to get this thing. It will make it so that I won’t have to get a new IV every day. My veins are so small that every time they try to stick me they always blow a vein or two before they make it work. My arms are all yellow, green and brown. From my wrists to my elbows. Oh well. We’ll see how it goes tomorrow! *sigh* I’m so tired af all of this already. I just want to curl into a little ball in the corner of a dark room and cry wile hideing from everyone. Everyone but my husband of course. I would not be sane right now if it wasn’t for him. =] I will never be able to thank him enough for his support and help through all of this. He is my life, my reason for living and my reason for fighting.

Chris, I love you and I am so glad you asked me to be your wife. =] Will you marry me again?? =] Kusse sweetie! =]